DISREGARD THIS WEBSITE.

i am a dumbass.

i miss jill a lot. and all my friends who i really don't talk to anymore. because i never see them. because i work now (gasp! viki? responsible? NOOOO!) and am tired and exhausted. i am sad that porsche left. that's POR-SHA. and i just realized that i am a dumbass, though i can't say why.

god, let this year be over already.

i have exactly 512 days left.

shiiiit. abby, you need to call me. and so does muthafuckin sarah! yeah, that's what you are!

shit, i hate this weblog. it is a running testament to my dumbassedness. my dumbassity. my collection of new words to describe how awkward i am.

wheee! i got to go home early today... and then i got to sit in the car waiting for mike to get out of We the People... and then i got to drive across town and make us late to work so dad could yell at people at a title company... and then go to his office... all while reading Catch-22, which is possibly my favorite book ever, but puts me in such an odd state of mind where i want to kill people and take my clothes off that i really shouldn't be in a place where people wear expensive shit.

do breadsticks drenched in marinara sauce really look like aborted fetuses?

i think so, anyway.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

DeviantART is frustrating. but it's miles better than AP... the WORST POETRY SITE IN THE WORLD! i wasted about a year of my life there. i may even put stuff up on my deviantart site today if i can get it to function. today i hung out with Lacy bunches. and another person decided that i am a great people who needs to get it on with her. hell, i could have told you that. yes, i'm a great people, becuase "You're both such great people, you should really get together because... you're both such great people." I AM A GREAT PEOPLE!

there's no way in hell i'm getting my picture up on there today, you dev.art.ppl will just miss out on that today.

TODAY I LOOKED UP AND SCREAMED BECUASE THERE, ON THE WALL WAS MY SONNET.

i HATE my sonnet.

the population of Palo Verde High School will not comprehend my sonnet. it is corny because it is made entirely of titles of poems from the last year written by yours truly... and because it is about Lethe, in fact is a tribute to the silly, fourteenyearoldgirl i was when we first became Viki&Lethe. i wrote muchos bad poemas which rhymed ABAB and then CDCD. much like sonnets, but less disciplined. i swear to god, i am over that shit now. i really am.

I AM NOW A SINGLE GIRL CHASING A CERTAIN LACY WHOM I LIKE IMMENSELY.

Tonight we're gunna fuck shit up. and on that note....

WITH BELLS ON,

viki the GRATE

http://www.iamapsycho.com/crazy/shellfish1.htm

when my weblogs show what a cunt i can be, i delete them. i want to go through all of them and delete my overdramatic whines. but sometimes they are a good read. today's fucking valentine's day... the day in which those people with happy relationships forget to spare the feelings of the rest of the miserable world and walk about with 3 FOOT BEARS AND FLOWERS!!! how cute. no, wait, not cute... cool. yeah, i'm not supposed to say they're cute. though they clearly are.

i made everyone little kid valentines with whinney the pooh on them... elizabeth, you'll probably get yours after the same amount of time has passed that you were made to suffer prior to recieving your christmas gift. poor elizabeth. i luvers ya.

yeah, so my buds all are trying to set me up with Lacy. Lacy in tech theatre with the red hair... i met her when i did One Acts. she wrote me a note that said that she thinks she's lucky if she were to get "hooked up" (god i hate that phrase... but it's basically what Sam has decided to do with us) with me. how sweet!

tessa says i have a new love interest every week. it's kind of true, i am realizing. no wonder i get called a whore all the time. tessa was the subject of the deleted weblog... but i was bitching about NEVADA LEGAL SYSTEM AND CHILD WELFARE AND HOW NO ONE SEEMS TO CARE ABOUT CHILDREN GETTING HURT. they still haven't called her aprents... now she has a whole weekend of them, no school. 3 fucking days and they'll probably call tonight. poor lovely. i'm so worried about her. always the good people i know are hurt... kill off the assholes, why can't we?

umm... OH! hi! i liked talking to you the other day, Micki, even if i'm a humungous dork. you seem like a sweetheart. i called abby right after and apparently, so did she. i hate you happy people in stable relationships. no, i don't, i love you. happy valentines day.

NO! no me gusta tu pulpo ofensivo!

no! no i don't like your rude octopus!

haha.

the coronado boys are jerks! but only that one. i didn't break at county (but i didn't expect to, considering i never even wrote my cases to begin with.) me and bill are buds again, meghan sucks, ummm, and paige likes boys now. grrrrrrrrrrrrrr. parents want to sell my truck, but it's not happening. kelsie's PPI fucking rocks. i watched the finals for PPI and a guy read out Bohemian Rhapsody-- his topic was "glory"--- and he said every bit of it, including the line "Mama... ooohoohoohooh..." and i laughed until i cried. PPI's get me all perklempt. to quote Kelsie. i love Kelsie! she's so sweet!

i was going to submit a picture for the visual poetry contest, but i can't find one i like enough. so today i go hunting for odd things to photograph in black and white. i submitted a poem of mine to the sonnet contest. it's special because it is completely original... it consists almost entirely of titles of poems i wrote in the last year and concerns Lethe and my father. it is entitled "Electrocution a la Jessica." oh, yeah, i'm so artsy it makes me sick!

"With used furniture he makes a tree. a Writer is essentially a crook. Dear Love, you are that man. Never loving ourselves, hating even our shoes and our hats, we love each other, precious, precious, our hands are light blue and gentle. Our eyes are full of terrible confessions. But when we marry, our children leave in disgust. There is too much food and no one left over to eat up all the weird abundance."

--Anne Sexton, "The Black Art." This is my favorite poem. anne sexton killed herself but named her child Joy. last night i dreamed that i was spray painting my mouth and my mother asked me why and i said, i'm out of lipstick. only i was in the bathroom of palo. and then my mother became Naomi from my script and started yelling. someone figure that one out for me, whoever gets it right gets a cookie.

Aaron gave me a CD by a band called Blatz who fucking rock.

and i am going to college, i have decided, in Oregon, with Elizabeth. Trout is the coolest guy in the whole wide world. i had a stalker last night. aren't i the coolest. i feel like drawing. Warren Zevon is awesome.